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A change in strategy
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| Sunday, 04 May 2008 - Written by Coy
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I remind myself of lyrics to a certain alternative song that says, "Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right". My unwiilingness to admit that another runner is better than me has created several problems for myself. In this running community and in another commmunity I belong to my EGO has been a major downfall. Anything good thats happened to me in running or in life in general has been a result of humility. And the last two and a half years have absolutely been a gift. I have accomplished much, some would call it a miracle for someone who came from the streets I escaped from, and they are right. It's a miracle I can take little credit for. But, I can take credit for nearly throwing it all away. Over my 42 years of life, 30 of them were spent living wrong and putting very harmful substances into my body, including a pack a day of nicotine. I was delivered from this way of life and given an opportunity to do something I love. Run!!! Then I was connected with a great group of people and runners who have been my biggest support and the closest thing I've had to a family in several years. But, my ego told me that was not enough. Several of these friends are fantastic runners and I soon became jealous. It didn't maater in my mind that they have been working at this for a long time. I didn't consider all the damage I have done to my body. I became obssesed on beating them. Here they were encouraging me, and I could just not dull this stupid competetive edge I have inside me. I began to try to train like they do, and even snuck in double workouts without telling anyone. But eventually, the body couldn't take it and I forced myself to run through one injury after another untill finally the knee injury i could not run through. Not being able to run sent me spiraling. I began the self-pity trip that never takes you to nice places.
Well, here I am once again. For some reason spared from my self-destruction and given yet another chance to do what I love, and maybe even an opportunity to be an example for others who have struggled. These great people have never once turned their backs on me and have been my biggest support. So today I chose to be grateful and humble. This chance is more than I deserve. I am proud to have friends who are amongst the running elite and I love them. I am just an average guy from Jersey not some running superhero. I will change my running schedule to every other day and just be thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this awesome group. And, only if God gives me the opportunity to someday, "The bring-it, once again, shall be brungeth!" |
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